Barcelona have worn several gorgeous jerseys in their history, as I listed in my recent article a couple of weeks ago. Just thinking about the ‘Cruyff Blaugrana’, ‘Pep Team’ or ‘El Meyba’ jerseys makes me want to dig deep into my stingy pockets and spend all of my children’s inheritance on retro Barca gear.
Unfortunately, Barcelona fans have also been punished with some revolting designs over the years that should have never been allowed to happen.
Here are 11 Barcelona jerseys (and kits) that Culers should have never been exposed to:
11 – Blurred Lines – 2012
Nike’s first attempt at eliminating Barcelona’s traditional vertical stripes – by not having any stripes at all. Bad enough to make this list, yet still not too terrible. Believe me, it gets much worse from now on.
10 – El Joan Gamper Mes – 2009
Only worn during one match in the summer of 2009, rumour has it that the geniuses at Nike couldn’t agree on which colours to use – so they just added all of them at once.
9 – El Spiderman – 2017
Peter Parker finally convinced his colleagues at Nike to play homage to his spider-adventures. How nice of them. This design would have been much more appropriate for pyjamas to buy for your worst enemy, dizzying bus seats or curtains in a rehab facility.
8 – Kappa European – 1997
Please ignore the fact that there’s a photo of number-one traitor Luis Figo above these words – that Barca jersey is terrible in every imaginable way. Not only that: The shorts are utterly shocking as well. Luckily, our Barcelona players weren’t forced to wear it too many times as it was only used in European competitions.
7 – Kappa Orange – 1997
Think Barcelona always look good in Orange? Not the case, as Kappa proved in their last season before Nike took over. Too many colours, all too bright, no reason for the black stripes. Still, the worst bit is the blue ‘lollipop turned stop-sign’ at the back. Just bad.
6 – Smoky Brown – 2003
Ronaldinho wore it with pride and scored several crackers defending this jersey. That’s the good bit. Everything else is just poor, especially the kakhi-dockers brown and the tiny horizontal stripes.
5 – El Horizontal – 2015
As I have argued countless times in our The Barcelona Podcast, Barcelona is a club deep-rooted in tradition: A very specific sentiment, an attractive way of playing and a trademark look of vertical Blaugrana stripes. While I am not saying the jersey in itself is horrendous, it is just not a Barca jersey. Shouldn’t have been allowed to happen. Just wrong.
Listen to The Barcelona Podcast podcast for more passionate opinions, in-depth analysis and the latest Barca news and rumours, right here:
4 – Peppa Pig Pink – 2020
I have nothing against pink. Seriously. My daughters watch Peppa Pig and, even though she’s pretty annoying, this is only because of her piercing voice and snobbish attitude – Nothing to do with being pink (or an arrogant talking pig), honestly.
Sorry, I digress:
The jersey? Well, everything is just generally terrible but, by far, what annoys me the most is the white and pink Barca badge. Not good enough.
3 – Tequila Sunrise – 2012
I honestly laughed out loud when I saw this jersey for the first time. Then I quickly thought about Messi having to wear it, and immediately started crying desperately. My eyes still hurt. This combination of colours is abhorrent enough for a cold drink on a Caribbean island, so I was flabbergasted to find out that those in charge of our club had agreed to have it on our Barcelona jersey for a whole season.
2 – Nike 20th Anniversary – 2018
Ever wondered what happens to old Barcelona jerseys once a new kit is released? Well, here is your answer: Nike locks them away for 20 years, they grow increasingly depressed in isolation and, eventually, they all get cut into little pieces and stitched back together into this hideous Frankestein-like design.
What’s worse: I have actually seen Culers (yes, real actual people) paying real money for this in the shops and even wearing it in public. No kidding. Be very careful out there, people.
Luckily, no Barcelona player has ever worn this in an official match – which is the only reason why this monstrosity wasn’t ‘crowned’ worst Barcelona jersey of all-time.
1 – Croatian Chessboard – 2019
I honestly don’t know where to start with this horrific jersey. While I do understand that the geniuses at Nike may have ran out of ideas after over two decades of designing Barcelona kits, the fact that the club’s board agreed to have our traditional look insulted in this embarrassing way is unforgivable.
Not even my grandma’s tablecloth back in the 1970s was this revolting. Not even Rakitic likes it. Wronger than wrong.
Unquestionably, the worst Barca jersey ever made – and it’s not even close.
PS: Are your eyes bleeding after seeing the Barca jerseys listed above? I feel your pain – Here are the 11 greatest Barcelona jerseys of all-time.
Francesc Tomàs is a Catalan columnist featured in ESPN, The Guardian and many others. Born and raised minutes away from the Camp Nou, Francesc has been sharing his opinionated views with thousands of faithful Culer listeners via The Barcelona Podcast since 2017.
